Hospice of Lenawee reaches out to area students suffering grief after a loss

As part of her work with Hospice of Lenawee, Lee Straub, community liaison, wanted to help students dealing with grief and loss. After researching how best to work with young people, Straub created Kaleidoscope, a school-based grief and loss program. Funding for the materials she designed came from an Adrian Kiwanis grant.“I put my heart and soul into the program,” Straub said. “Kaleidoscope is still growing, and I’m the only person doing it.”Straub has worked in 14 academic buildings in the county. A year ago, Straub began working with Liz Fraker of Communities In Schools of the Tecumseh Area (CISTA) at Tecumseh High School after accidental deaths of several local young people.Along the way, Straub was able to work with students struggling with grief over other losses.“The foundation of our relationship was laid when I met with the high school counselors,” said Straub. “We shared information on how to best meet the needs in the school. I also facilitated a group to meet the needs of more students at one time.”Her goal is to bring together school, student and parents as a way to help students heal. “We all collaborate together,” Straub said. “I connect with the parents and the parents connect with me.”Whether meeting with students individually or working with a group, Straub must make a strong connection. “Building relationships is the most important foundation,” she said. “Without a strong foundation, work with kids is futile.”For some students, the relationship with Straub may be based on simple conversation, artwork or journaling. For others, Straub must get creative.“It’s identifying how people are processing their grief,” said Straub. “Some kids are more talkative than others. I meet them where they are in terms of development and stage of grief. What’s interesting about kids is their movement through developmental phases. Kids will revisit their grief as they age. They will revisit any loss as they pass through developmental milestones. Often times I see kids at different stages in their lives.”Straub’s main goal is to find a way to help each student process his or her grief, and to help students find an appropriate expression for their grief. For some of the students, conversation is a way to get emotions out in the open. Other young people don’t want to or know how to communicate verbally. “We’ll take a walk around,” Straub said. “Sometimes the environment in the school makes it challenging for students to open up about their thoughts and feelings. I’m a mover because a lot of kids are movers too. Not a lot of kids want to sit across a table and talk with me.”In addition to working with individual students, Straub works with groups of students once a week for six weeks. “Grief groups are small groups of students who come together at a time of their life when they have all struggled with a loss,” said Straub. “It’s always based on safety, and everything in the group is confidential. A group is didactic, and we do six weeks because any longer the group starts to morph into something other than just a grief group. We have to have a beginning and an end.”Straub said the group dynamic helps students understand they are not alone with the feelings of grief. Straub leads discussions about wearing a mask a school that tells other people everything is fine, even when students feel terrible.According to Straub, teens tend to rely on their peers for advice rather than adults. However, many teens have not experienced the death of close family member and cannot relate to students who have, ultimately causing grieving students to feel isolated.“They just want to be normal. They don’t want to stand out. They are looking for their identity,” Straub said. “They’re not adults but we want them to act like adults.”Students struggling with grief often seem to have problems other than grief, and their behavior may not look like typical grieving. Short-term memory loss is very common for grieving students, and directly affects schoolwork.Straub is able to reassure students and their parents the struggles with short-term memory loss are a transitional problem rather than a physical one. “Grief takes up so much of someone’s life it’s hard to retain what they are expected to retain,” she said. “School work can be very overwhelming for kids struggling with loss.”Working with parents is another important part of Kaleidoscope. Parents dealing with the same loss as their children may find it difficult to help with the navigation through grief.“Parents don’t have the energy. It’s challenging to meet their child at the phase where they are,” said Straub. “It can be very frustrating when having to do your own processing and then step out of it and be a parent. Having the school and hospice wrap their arms around them can be very helpful.”If parents have concerns, Straub suggests contacting the school counselor for guidance. Hospice of Lenawee is also available to help parents and children work through grief, using Kaleidoscope or other Hospice programs.“Our community support program is pretty unique. Many hospices don’t have it,” Straub said. “We have just made a commitment to our community to provide grief support to anyone. We continue to grow this community support program and branch off. It is a need, and continues to be, I feel, helpful in the community. We’ve been so fortunate at how the community supports the program. We are pioneers.”

Tecumseh Herald

 

110 E. Logan St.
P.O. Box 218
Tecumseh, MI 49286
517-423-2174
800-832-6443

Email Us

FacebookTwitter

Latest articles

  • America Beltran, a 23-year-old graduate of Tecumseh High School was arrested by ICE agents in February.

    Wed, 03/27/2024 - 2:58pm
  • Tohni Campbell (l) and Kathy Lucha inside Selma’s Opal in downtown Tecumseh. Photo by Jim Lincoln.

    Wed, 03/27/2024 - 2:55pm
  • LISD Tech Center FFA student Camden Grodi, left, and Tecumseh Rotary Club President Holly Willey work on a water pasteurization indicator at the tech center on March 21. Submitted photo.

    Wed, 03/27/2024 - 2:34pm

Please Login for Premium Content