The Power of One
Inmy work as a pastor I am often asked to help families. In that vein Ihave assembled a list of seven things that any anyone can do today tohelp them go from consistent under achiever parent to rock star Dad andMom, and it all revolves around the concept of just one more...
1. Just one more touch every day.One extra touch a day equals 365 touches in a year. As our kids getolder it is natural for them to feel... Odd? about physical contactwith Mom or Dad. But that is no reason to give up on the importantSpiritual connection that an appropriate touch can provide inour families. A brush on the head as they head out the door, or aknuckle bump with your son will suffice. Touch is a powerful thing andwill go a long way to helping you stay connected to your kids.
2. Spend one day per week investing in family. Attenda local play, go for a walk, take a class at the local communitycollege together or schedule a weekly family fun night. In truth themajority of families out in the wide world do not develop their senseof belonging together, if you do... You will find your relationshipsgetting much closer. Communication gets easier with practice.
3. Read one book every month.Just 5 books on any one subject will make you an expert in most peopleseyes. Expanding your knowledge will help you become more successful.Read books related to your kids interests. Or read a book that willgive you a better idea how to communicate with your kid. You may besomebody's parent, but your kid probably isn't. Learn their languageand understand their problems. Try to remember what it was like...
4. Ask one more question.In a tense situation, before you start barfing everything you everheard your parents say to you on the shoes of your kid, ask her onemore question. This question might give you the additional insight youneed to more effectively understand her problem. So much the better ifyou already speak her language and understand her concerns.
5. Pause for one more moment.Allow yourself 3-4 heartbeats between sentences. It will seem like alot to you but it allows you to control the pace of the conversation.Allow your brain and the brain of your kid process what you just said.
6. Eat one more meal.Schedule a FAMILY breakfast or lunch with your kid if his schedule oryours prevents you from having dinner together. But instead of tryingto tell them something, focus on listening and offering solutions thatdo not include unnecessary bias ( IE my Dad would never have let my hair look like that! ) and your kid will begin to see you more as a ally rather than a obstacle.
7. Send one more card.Very few parents make the effort to write to their kids. You can standout in your kids mind by sending handwritten notes your kids tellingthem you love them. You can also send a note when you see doingsomething right without being told (a powerful reinforcement). Thepower of a note sent in love is worth MY 300lb weight in gold!