Civility needed in our scared society

The Webster’s New World Dictionary definition for “civility” is “politeness, or a civil or polite act.” It seems, as we live in a continuing economic decline, that civility is going by the wayside as people find themselves facing others around them with deep divides in their core beliefs and opinions on how challenges should be met.
At the national level, politicians promise the cliché, “I’ll reach across the aisle” to get things done — but there seems to be more words about that than actual actions as few solutions have been found for some pretty important issues.
Michigan’s economy is in such dire straits that fear and anger are spreading well beyond the politicians, but into local communities as schools, businesses and individuals feel more than the pinch of a tight economy, but sometimes downright severing of services and programs, jobs, homes and business viability. What it’s doing is making people afraid — and angry. And as fear and anger are wont to do, these emotions have to go somewhere.
Unfortunately, some of those outlets may be getting a little more public than is comfortable. We, at the Herald, for instance, have noticed the frequently negative tenor of comments on our website. Positive comments tend to be few and far between, though we would love to hear from people who are looking for the silver linings in some pretty tough situations. Personal attack also seems to be on the rise, on the World Wide Web and at other venues, such as in public forums designed as a place for concerned citizens to express their concerns about the business that specific governmental bodies are charged with conducting.
Don’t get me wrong, there is a place for criticism, even critique — to be delivered in a civilized manner. It’s helpful to various board members if the complainant also brings suggestions, when there are some. Some people do that. I’ve heard them at City Council meetings and school board meetings. Most of the area’s public bodies allow for public comment periods because they know they aren’t perfect and there is always room for improvement. As a public, however, we must be conscientious of respecting these open periods, adhering to the allotted time limits per person and making sure our concerns don’t become diatribes or personal attacks. I am not kidding myself — I know there are emotional issues out there, and the emotion and personal belief that wrongs have been committed or a board is veering off in its methods of solving problems can be what spurs a person to speak up in the first place. But we have to keep in mind that if too many of us abuse the process, more restraints will have to be put in place.
Some time ago, I was critical of the Tecumseh School Board about its brusqueness during public comment, and wondered publicly if that might prevent some people from speaking up who may have had something valuable to contribute. I will say here that the board has done a good job of late, in making sure that people who attend meetings get to speak their piece. I will also say that the board has a new challenge on its hands, as do some of the other boards in our communities that I have heard about. In order to get to the business they are there to conduct in a timely fashion, these board members are having to assess how strict they have been (often being pretty liberal, actually) in limiting speakers to a specific time to comment, generally three minutes. At a time when people are scared and angry, these board members have their work cut out for them as some will accuse them of not wanting to hear or encourage comments and constructive criticism.
With the present atmosphere of living in uncertain times where fear and apprehension are becoming everyday realities, I am put in mind of something that became a catch-phrase in the 1990s. “Can’t we all just get along?” Rodney King, who was beaten several times by police officers with the actions caught on videotape, was the one who made the statement. He was mocked for asking the question, but think about it. What could we use more right now than a little civility, and attempts by more of us to “get along” with those who are also experiencing some of the same challenges we are in one form or another?
George H.W. Bush also was mocked when he talked in his inaugural address of a “kinder gentler nation,” underscoring traditional American values as the means by which to achieve it. Some of the mocking came as the nation tended to become even more divisive and politically nasty.
The goal and the desire of learning to live with civility also was summed up by another man centuries ago, one who urged people to do something audacious and “love” their enemies and to “do good” to those who hate us. He said, “Love one another, just as I have loved you.” In fact, it is considered a commandment that sums up all the rest in the Bible. I suggest we try to put some of that fear and anger aside and work toward a goal of civility, remembering that lashing out at one another, publicly or privately, is no solution at all.