Realizing it’s time for my daugher to meet more little people

 Since people are familiar with my daughter's journey as she grows up in the world of little people, I thought I'd share this week's column in my blog. The following is what ran in the Aug. 12 issue:

 I typically refer to my children as Kid One and Kid Two, but I figure in this case they won’t mind me calling them by their actual names.

 This weekend my daughter, Kiki, my mom, Maria, and I all attended a Little People of America (LPA) Motor City Chapter gathering. Josh, my son, was unable to attend because he was camping. For Kiki, life has posed a few challenges. She was born with a rare form of dwarfism called Kniest Syndrome. In medical terms, she’s missing Type II Collagen in her cartilage. In regular folks like me terms, her cartilage looks like Swiss cheese, which is not how cartilage is supposed to look. The result is she is small and she has arthritis-like symptoms that make it difficult for her to walk long distances. The ends of her bones are larger and the shafts are thin and small, so it’s apparent when looking at her that there is some kind of disability.

 For the most part, Kiki takes all of this like a champ. She doesn’t complain a whole lot. She’s extremely independent and doesn’t let too much stop her. She is 12, however, and 12 is a tough age when there isn’t a disability in the mix. On top of all the regular insecurities that go along with being that age, Kiki has had to put up with people staring at her most every place she goes. Lately, she has been somewhat self-conscious about the way her body looks. She lives in a world where all her friends are three or four heads taller than she is and she’s often mistaken for a six-year-old. For her, that can sometimes be frustrating. We’ve taken the approach that laughter is the best medicine in those times, so she does take a lot of it with a grain of salt. Along with looking a lot younger than she is, she can’t reach a whole lot in this average-sized world. That’s the term used to describe people who are not of short stature. She’s resourceful, though, and often finds a way to get what she needs.

 I know it’s lonely for her not knowing too many other kids her age who are small like her. She has been doing her own sort of outreach, finding other’s here and there online who are of short stature. It’s not the same as meeting people face-to-face, though.  

 We’ve been to LPA functions in the past and Kiki has met a lot of the Michigan chapter folks before, but that was when she was much younger. Then, most of her peers weren’t that much taller than her, and she really didn’t feel the full social impact of being a person of short stature. For a while, now, she’s mentioned that she’d like to meet some little people like her. I’ll admit I fell off the grid for a while when I was in school and later working a second job. Our neighbors and friends across the street, Turtle and Robert, have been involved in LPA for years. Turtle kept on me about renewing our lapsed membership. I finally got with the program, realizing how important it has become to Kiki.

 This particular gathering was a pool party. Kiki, who is typically gregarious, gets a bit shy when she doesn’t know a lot of people. Still, she swam and played water volleyball with many of the chapter members, a few who were around her age, and while she didn’t talk a whole lot it was easy to see she felt right at home. She didn’t really leave my side the whole time, but she didn’t want to go home either. It was a great day for a pool party, warm but not too muggy. There was lots of great food. We saw pictures from the 2010 LPA National Convention in Nashville, and what we all realized while looking at the photos was how much fun it would be for Kiki to meet all the people there.

 At the end of the day, Kiki was pretty worn out. I’m pretty sure she would have stayed a few more hours regardless. I could see in her face how comfortable she’d become, like she’d found the place she knew she’d always belonged.

 As tired as she was, it didn’t take long for her to let everyone know what a great time she had, “meeting people her own size” is how she put it. She had in fact found the place she belonged.

 Later, when we talked about the day’s happenings, she decided she was no longer going to be embarrassed about how her legs looked. She said that she noticed the people at the gathering were happy and didn’t really care what other people said or did. She said she realized she could do the same.

 She said one more thing that hit deep before our talk ended.

 “Mom,” she said, “for once I went somewhere where nobody stared at me.”